The Psychology of Procrastination

The Psychology of Procrastination

We have all experienced the pit in our stomach whilst scrambling at the last minute to meet a deadline, attempting to compress a whole semester’s worth of studying into a single night, or the agony of putting off doing laundry until you realize you have no clean clothes, all thanks to procrastination.

What are the inner workings behind why people procrastinate? Psychology explains what cogs and gears are turning in the minds of procrastinators. Let’s look.

The Psychological Factors Behind Procrastination

Studies show that various factors cause procrastination. These factors are why procrastinators may know their behaviors yet can’t change them.

A lack of structure. Organizing your tasks while taking your habits and behaviors into account is a skill. One a procrastinator lacks. Those who can order their past, present, and future activities can manage their time well. When a person cannot do so, they cannot plan the actions they must dedicate time to. They can’t devote the time required to complete an activity. As a result, they lose focus and postpone tasks they must complete. When you build a habit of delaying tasks, you become a procrastinator.

Anxiety and fear. The tasks we have to perform can be challenging when you can’t see the top of the mountain of clothes that need washing. Confess, and it makes you feel uneasy. Fear of the results of our work or the journey necessary to achieve a task can paralyze a person. It results in an inability to complete a task and, as a result, procrastination.

Lack of motivation. Some call motivation the driving force behind accomplishing what needs doing. Motivation might come from the outside or from within. Internal motivation is a crucial psychological factor. It helps decide whether a person can act to complete a task. We all yearn for fulfillment and pleasure. It means that if a task may benefit us in this way, we’ll want to do it. Likewise, if completing work does not provide us with any rewards, we will not want to do it. Disliking a task results in a lack of motivation. When this happens, the chances of deferring work on a task are great. That’s saying we procrastinate.

Perfectionism. Holding up a weighty object isn’t easy. The pressure exerted by the object makes it difficult even to move. That’s the strain that perfectionism puts on individuals who suffer from it. Perfectionists have such high expectations of themselves. Yet, it may not always be possible to complete a task to such a high-quality standard. Instead of settling for their best, a perfectionist won’t. They may not bear the thought of failing to meet their high expectations. So as not to “fail” at whatever task they need to complete, perfectionists postpone actual work on the task. Instead, they spend their time musing on how to best complete the task to meet the high standards. It makes perfectionism a relevant and proven psychological factor for why people procrastinate.

We’ve discussed some of the “whys” behind procrastination. Gaining knowledge of this is a step forward in overcoming this self-defeating habit. As you do, you find that you’re happier, living a life with less effort, less pain, and less difficulty.

Expressing Anger

A commonality found in most “How to Deal with Anger” articles is advice on how to get rid of anger or how to let it go in the moment. It is important to remember that anger is a perfectly normal emotion. The problem is that most people express anger in an improper/harmful way. Being taught how to express anger openly, honestly, and appropriately is the goal.

Recite this “Anger Affirmation” to yourself to begin reframing your relationship with anger.

I express my anger openly. I tell others when and why I am upset. When others make me angry, they are entitled to know. If I am willing to share my negative emotions, it allows others to adjust their behavior accordingly so we can resolve the conflict.

I am honest with others about my anger. I avoid denying my emotions. I am strong enough to share my negative emotions with others.

I express my anger appropriately and calmly. I maintain control of my emotions, words, and actions. Expressing my anger inappropriately creates a lot of unnecessary drama. I avoid creating drama.

Before I react angrily, I stop and count to ten. Then I carefully consider why I am angry and share that reason with the other person.

I avoid saying things that only serve to make a disagreeable situation worse.

When someone is angry with me, I appreciate knowing why. Therefore, I afford the same courtesy to others. It is easier to work through conflicts when there is open communication.

Today, I choose to express my anger openly, honestly, and appropriately. I am in control of my emotions, even when explaining to others why I am upset. I know that being open is the first step to finding a solution. I am comfortable talking about my feelings.

Calm Your Mental Chatter

Have you ever felt frustrated with the amount of thoughts that your mind is throwing at you, especially when you’re already feeling stressed or overwhelmed?. That internal noise never seems to stop. This can be distracting at best. At worst, it can undermine your confidence and optimism. While it isn’t possible to stop your mental chatter completely, there is plenty that you can do to tame it.

Keep these techniques in mind when you need an escape from your mental chatter:

1. Try using 5-4-3-2-1. When the noise in your head won’t seem to stop, try 5-4-3-2-1. This little exercise will get you out of your head and focused on your environment.
   Look around your environment and describe five things you see. It’s easy to find five things you see, but the remainder of the exercise is a little more challenging.
   

   • Describe four things you hear. “In the distance, I can hear car horns honking.” Really focus your attention on the noises you can hear and fully experience them.

   • Describe three things you feel. It could be the cool breeze blowing over your skin, the firm chair underneath you, or the pain in your elbow.

   • Describe two things you smell. You might have to really concentrate to come up with two.

   • Tell yourself one thing you like about yourself. By the time you’ve finished all five parts of this exercise, your focus will be in the present instead of on the noise in your head.

2. Meditate. Meditation creates a lot of opportunities for dealing with mental noise, because there’s nothing to distract you from it. Learn how to meditate and spend some time each day meditating to calm your mind.

3. Write it out. Set aside time each day to write down the things you’re randomly thinking. It’s very cathartic and really works if you give it a chance. After 10-20 minutes, take the paper you’ve been writing on and destroy it.

4. Use affirmations. Affirmations can improve your life. They also crowd out the noise. When the noise starts, use an affirmation to keep your mind occupied on thoughts that you want.
   -Have a list of affirmations ready to go. Pick one and use it when necessary.

5. Focus on your breathing. Put your attention on your breathing. This is convenient, because it’s always available to you.

6. Listen to music. Playing music in the background while you work can help to keep in the internal voices at bay. Be careful that you don’t listen to something so distracting that you can’t concentrate on whatever it is that you’re doing. This might take some experimentation and practice.

Your brain creates thoughts. That’s what it’s designed to do. But there are solutions you can employ to reduce the noise. Attempting to eliminate your internal voice is a waste of time, but you can greatly reduce the noise and avoid engaging with it. Practice these methods to reduce or prevent an overabundance of thoughts that you don’t want.

Spring Clean Your Mind

Spring. The time when the flowers bloom, the sun starts to shine bigger and brighter, and you make room to clean up your home, get rid of the old, and make room for the new. We all know this as “spring cleaning” but I want to challenge you and ask this: do you clean everything when you spring clean? Do you spring clean your mind and make room for the best version of you? Spring cleaning doesn’t just apply to those old shoes in the back of your closet; it also applies to those internal things that you are still holding on to. It applies to those relationships that ended poorly, that venture that did not turn out the way you thought it would, and it applies to those thoughts that hold you captive to becoming the best version of yourself. 

As you look forward to the new season, I want to encourage you to spring clean your mind. Start with writing everything down, and in specific I want you to focus on the things that have consumed your mind from the last six months. After you journal down the things that you have thought about, ask yourself the following questions:

What is this thing that I am holding on to?

Why am I holding on to it?

How does this thing affect what I think and believe about myself?

If I let go of this thing today, how would I feel?

As you answer these questions, I want you to dig deep, and I mean really deep. Dig into those parts that answer those questions truly and honestly. Allow yourself to be open and honest to your answers to the questions, and then release them. Throw the paper in the trash, burn the piece of paper in a safe way, or rip the paper apart as a simple exercise to show the strength and courage that you have over those things that have been consuming your mind. As you release those things into the world, allow new thoughts of positivity and newness to enter you, so that you can accept the new thoughts that consume you. Make room for those new things to fill you internally so that you can receive the external newness in your life. Practice this for at least 3 days, and challenge yourself to make this a habit throughout the year as you assess who you are, what you want, and how you are working to become the best version of yourself. 

If you are having trouble uncovering some things in your life, or need some help spring cleaning your mind, click here to book a session with us, and let’s clean up together. 

Growth Is A Choice

Growth is a state of mind that we must place intentionality behind as we continue to be our best selves. As we grow in the things that we discover and uncover about ourselves, a sense of uncomfortably will naturally occur. I want to encourage you to embrace those challenges as you get uncomfortable. Embrace the things that you don’t know, and strive to understand how they apply to your life. 

When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself “how do I want to grow today?” Allow the things that happen in your life to be lessons that craft and shape you into the person you are. Take note of your reactions, thoughts, and feelings about your growth, because as you continue to grow you will notice that everything requires thought. Every time something negative happens, think twice before you respond. Every time something positive happens, fully embrace the feelings that you associate with it.  Everything matters. Everything. 

Developing a growth mindset doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and conscious effort in order to craft your mind to benefit your overall life. As you make the choice that impacts your life, always remember: change is inevitable, growth is optional. 

What will you choose? 

If you need some support in developing a growth mindset, click here to book a session with us, and let’s get you started on the journey to forming healthy long-term relationships. 

A Healthy Relationship Should Look Like This

As human beings, we all desire relationships. There have been numerous studies and theories on relationships that show a positive correlation between relationships and happiness, and we as people report that relationships are the best parts of our lives. This can be seen in friendships, romantic relationships, familial relationships, and work relationships, as these are the most common that we encounter on a daily basis. However, as you begin to form relationships, it is important that we recognize if they are healthy for your well-being. 

Sometimes, people will form a bond or a relationship from an unhealthy trait or habit, and this leads to toxic relationships. This is what we do not recommend you do, as these relationships tend to have a harsher than expected end, or they leave you with thoughts of low self-esteem, unhealthy views of relationships, or a combination of these. This is why we want to talk to you about the components of healthy relationships that are important to keep at the forefront of all of the relationships you have. 

Open communication is one of the most important components of a relationship. This is because we get to understand other people through communication. Communication includes speaking, but more importantly listening, and not just using the ability of your ears, but actively listening to the other person. Take heed to what they are saying about their likes, dislikes, preferences, boundaries, and more because this will allow them to express their true feelings and outlook on life. This way, you can learn to accept the real them, and they can accept the real you. Communication breaks down all falsities of who you think the other person is and allows you to both see each other and form a true and honest relationship. 

The next important component of a healthy relationship is honesty and trust. Honesty and trust go a long way within any relationship because they are the confidence that you build with one another. Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something, and that is exactly what the relationship must stand upon. Trust allows you to place confidence in the person that you are in a relationship with and leaves no room for doubt or insecurity. Trust is also something that must continue to build on a regular basis in order for the relationship to last. 

The last component of a healthy relationship that we want to share is effort. Relationships require both people to place optimal effort in order for the relationship to grow. Effort can look like giving words of affirmation, doing acts of service, giving or receiving a gift, spending quality time, or physical touch. These are popularly coined as “love languages,” and we like this term because relationships require a level of effort that makes sense to the people in the relationship. This may look different for each relationship that you have, but once you establish what works for you and the other person, stick to it. Each person that puts in the effort will then feel as though they are being treated fairly in the relationship, which is healthy for both parties. 

There are so many more components to a healthy relationship, and we want to help you dive into what that looks like for your life. Click here to book a session with us, and let’s get you started on the journey to forming healthy long-term relationships. 

The Importance of Reflection

A new year means there is an opportunity to reflect on the past year and look forward to what is to come. Now, I don’t want you to think that this is a time for “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” thoughts. Rather, I want you to utilize the month of January as a way to see what you have accomplished, what you are looking forward to achieving, and how you are going to prioritize your well-being.

Reflections are important because they allow you to stop and take a moment to pivot from the day-to-day that we so often get caught up in. You can reflect by taking out a journal and separating your paper into three sections. At the top of the first section, write “Start,” in the middle section of the page, write “Resume,” and finally, at the top of the final section, write “Stop.” These sections are a good catalyst for three things to reflect on. Ask yourself these three questions:

1. What do I need to start doing this year?

2. What do I need to resume doing this year?

3. What do I need to stop doing this year?

Be honest with yourself when answering these questions in your journal, and write your answers to these questions. This will allow you to see the good habits that you have developed, the goals that you want to achieve this year, and create boundaries for yourself in order to stop doing specific things. In order to grow into the best version of yourself, you have to begin by being honest. Once the window of honesty is opened, the possibilities are endless because you are able to look at things with a clear and open view. 

So, don’t be afraid to start the year off with a little bit of reflection. It will help the rest of your year align in the way that it should go. I highly recommend that you implement monthly or quarterly reflection periods, so that you create a habit of looking at the glass half full, seeing where you can grow, and then becoming who you are meant to be. 

Happy New Year!

You Have To Focus On You

Healing is a word that can mean many different things to many different people. Going through the healing process, or calling yourself healed after a traumatic event or circumstance proves that life is an ever-changing journey, filled with seasons that we cannot predict. But, how does one heal? 

How does one self-heal?

Self-healing is the process of recovery that is motivated by and directed by a person that is often guided by instinct. Our nature allows us to be protective to ourselves and our surroundings, so self-healing is your mental response to the very core of who you are. As you are intentionally creating a space for yourself to heal, it is important to place habits in your life that take up time in order to shift your energy level, your mood, and thus cause self-healing to occur. 

You may be thinking, why is it important to heal? Well, let me be the first to say that healing is a continuous process that is important to your overall health and wellness. Not only does unhealed trauma have an effect on your mind, it can also have long-term effects on your body. In order to live life in a fulfilled way, self-healing must be a part of each season in our lives. 

Just remember, it starts with the mind-shift that must take place and the implementing habits that can support your healing.

Here are 5 ways that you can practice self-healing on a regular basis.

1. Meditate. Take 5 minutes out of your day to center yourself. Play sounds of nature, and be one with yourself. Close your eyes and focus on nothing but the sounds of nature. 

2. Breathe Intentionally. Feel each and every breath that goes in your nose and out of your mouth. You can also combine this technique with meditating for a more focused experience.

3. Eat well. Eating well not only improves the physical condition of the body, it provides you with greater energy throughout the day and gives your brain the nutrients that it needs. 

4. Rest- Sleep is the most important because your body needs to rest itself to heal and get stronger. Aim for at least 7 hours of sleep.

5. Yoga. This is a great way to move your body while also practicing a state of calmness. Whether it is a group class or a solo virtual session, yoga helps you to relax, center you and lessen distress.

If you are struggling with healing in your life, schedule a call to chat with one of our therapists.  Click here to book a session with one of our licensed professionals, who are ready to see you get well. We are ready to support you in your journey to healing.

Fighting An Invisible Disease

At times life can be difficult, and I mean really difficult. Trials and tribulations of life can make us question our purpose, where our life is going, and cause us to face what is coined “invisible disease.” An invisible disease is a sickness that cannot be seen at first glance by the human eye, but it infects and affects our mental state of mind. In fact, if an invisible disease is not treated, it can lead to very detrimental results. 

Some examples of invisible diseases can include depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, PTSD and more. All of these diseases have different root causes, and have to be handled in a special way. So the question becomes, what do you do about the illness inside of you that no one knows about? What do you do when you feel like you can’t heal or work through your invisible illness? How can you take care of yourself as you are fighting to get better? This is no easy feat, but when you proactively make the choice to fight against an invisible disease, you will win. Your healing towards better health and wellness is important to your livelihood, which is why we recommend doing these things in your daily life. 

1. Journal and reflect on the thoughts that you have towards your invisible disease. Holding everything in is not good for your psyche, because it can cause an eruption, similar to a volcano. Instead, make it a habit to release how you feel by writing it down. This will allow you to organize your thoughts and get clarity on where this disease came from, and how to directly handle the root of the issue. Journaling also gives your brain a break from the built up stress, and studies have shown that expressive writing can lower blood pressure and improve liver functionality. 

2. Speak to yourself in a positive manner. This retrains your brain to think positive thoughts about yourself, and it allows your body to release dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter in the brain that helps you feel good or pleasurable. The more that you practice positive speaking, the more likely your brain is to release positive feelings about yourself. This not only affects your brain, but it trickles down to your self-esteem, your relationship with yourself, and your overall outlook on life. 

3. Eat well and get plenty of sleep. Believe it or not, our mental health is highly affected by the things we put in our bodies, and how we psychically take care of our bodies. This is why it is so important to sleep for at least 7-9 hours, drink water regularly, and avoid drinking and smoking. What we put in our bodies affects our brain and bodily function, so transitioning to a healthier lifestyle can also help with fighting an invisible disease. 

This is only a short list of tips that help to fight the invisible diseases that life may bring us. Just like a medical disease, we don’t know when or how an invisible disease will come, but the key is recognizing that we need to heal, and taking the necessary steps to do so. Healing can come in so many forms, but once you make the commitment to be well, things will fall into place as you do the work.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with an invisible disease, please contact us for additional tips that you can use to heal. Or click here to book a session with one of our licensed professionals, who are ready to see you get well. 

Improving Your Self-Esteem

We define self-esteem as confidence in one’s own abilities, talents, and a high form of self-respect. But the question is, how do we get to healthy and high self-esteem within ourselves? This also proves itself to be a large area that is talked about in counseling, because our life experiences tend to affect our self-esteem. 

So how do we create, maintain, and improve our self-esteem? This is a multi-faceted answer because this is not an overnight process. Rather, it is a continual journey that we find ourselves facing every day. 

You can start this process by identifying the negative thoughts about yourself, and challenging yourself. If you have negative thought patterns about the way you look, for example, challenge those thoughts patterns by thinking positively about your outer appearance. If something has happened to you that has made you feel less, think about how you have grown from that experience. Let that be the catalyst for an opposing and positive thought, and use that as a guiding light to higher self-esteem. 

Improving your self-esteem can also be in the form of affirmations. The mind is a very powerful tool, and when we think positive thoughts and then say them with our words, our outcomes have a great effect. This is why affirmations are so important. They give us strength behind our thoughts, and over time can shift our mindset to higher and healthier self-esteem. Affirmations can be as simple as “I love myself,” or something like “I choose to embrace who I am, exactly as I am.” Regardless of what you choose to say to yourself, let it be positive, let it reflect the best version of yourself, and let it be healthy. 

Finally, self-esteem can be improved through an active lifestyle through exercise. When we exercise on a regular basis, our bodies produce a great number of chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins then interact with your brain and trigger a positive feeling in the body, and thus give you happier feelings. Not only does exercise do our self-esteem good, but it also does your body, brain, and overall health good. What could be better than that!

Remember that improving self-esteem is not something that happens over a day, month, or even year. So, as you go through the process of improving your self-esteem, give yourself grace and space to embrace all that you are. There is only one you.

Here at Insights Therapeutic Services, we are committed to making your mental health a priority. Click here to request an appointment with us, and let’s support you so that you can thrive organically.