What's Holding Me Back From Changing Jobs?


Identifying and addressing dysfunctional familial and personal relationships is important but when you do the math and recognize how much time you spend at work; you may find that you spend more time in toxic professional spaces that are affecting your happiness and mental stability.

In many situations, time can blunt our ability to see things clearly, so ask yourself these questions:

1. Aside from the actual work, what is the number one thing your colleagues discuss- is it how awful the job is?

2. Do you feel supported with the ability to express legitimate concerns? If not by your direct supervisor by the company as a whole?

3. Are meetings and trainings "one-way streets" with little input from anyone but senior/upper management?

4. And last but certainly not least do you flat out dread going to work on a daily basis?

Making the move to the unknown can be daunting, the fear and anxiety associated with job hunting can keep many people stuck in place far too long. Some experience guilt with leaving co-workers they have spent years with or have lost the drive and motivation to seek out other opportunities. Complexities such as these can scar self-confidence and create a justification of “it’s not that bad”, when it really is “that bad”.

A vital part to healing after leaving a bad job experience is not taking that negativity with you. Here are some tips to help ensure that your role at the new job doesn't perpetuate the same old patterns.

  • Look for the lesson and learn from experience; balance that by staying mindful on the present not dwelling on the past. Mentally replaying all that went down at your previous place of employment is not helpful and does not aid growth. Refrain from verbalizing your past employer experience to your new coworkers, it may feel cathartic, but it will not endear you to them in the long run.

  • Oftentimes people become a reflection of their surroundings, so do an inventory on yourself and examine the ways you may have internalized situations and became part of the problem.

  • Making a list of workplace problems, whether they be aggressions that were directed at you or that you directed at others, can help pinpoint and address harmful or dysfunctional behavior in your brain, and allow you to move on with a healthier perspective. 

  • Seek trainings and workshops to help you with potentially outdated processes as well as updating your skill set for growth and marketability.

By building your self-esteem and self-confidence the level of fear and anxiety can be more manageable. Talking to a therapist or life coach or even bonding with other individuals in similar situations can give you objective support and help you realize you are not alone facing the challenges of starting over in your professional life.